Thank you for taking my request. I have written the ultimate anti-gun, anti-weapon ban and am asking for your support to pass it into law.
OK, they say we need to ban our guns because there have been people killed with them, families destroyed, lives ruined, children left parent-less and many other unfortunate results. OK, without guns, certainly less people would be shot, but,,,,,wait,,,,,,records tell us that many people have been killed with other weapons. This writing is to ban weapons!
People have been bludgeoned to death so this ban also includes bludgeon instruments. We are including in this request to ban all hammers, wrenches, axes, hatchets,lawn tools, shovels, rakes, hoes, screw drivers, saws, oh, sticks too. Everyone with a stick or limb on their property should be arrested immediately and charged with possessing a deadly weapon. Hey what about rocks? Every square inch of the earth should be searched and any property owner found to be harboring rocks of suitable size to injure or kill a person should be imprisoned.
Every office with a paperweight suitable of bodily harm should be considered a potential crime scene and the office worker labeled as a potential criminal. Office equipment including removable drawers, telephones at the end of a cord, large tape dispensers, water coolers with removable bottles, computer monitors, keyboards, sharp pencils, letter openers, are now banned from the earth.
Should a home be discovered to contain a vase, pot, kettle, knife, fork, broom, chair, appliances with cords, goblets, large knick-knacks, lawn toys like a bad mitten net, krochet mallet, bowling balls, are now placed into the anti-weapon ban. These and all fist size, unattached, movable items are now banned.
Every auto needs to be inspected and being a fact that people have been killed with tire tools, they are now banned from carrying a tire removal tool in your automobile. This ban includes single leverage tire tools as well as multiple way tire tools. There can be no flammable liquid in the vehicles, so all gasoline must be removed and destroyed.
Homes that include flower pots, lamps, large picture frames, the small, tiny ones do not count, fire place tools, mops, brooms, large toys, books, bottles, flashlights,etc are now banned from possession.
Flammable liquids found in those little sheds behind homes are a potential weapon, it will permissible to own lawn mowers and weed eaters but home owners are in violation of the anti-weapon act if they purchase gasoline for them. Homes are no longer suitable to control their interiors with natural or liquid propane gas. The use of these flammable products have been banned by the anti-weapon act.
We must also consider that people have been strangled, there fore we must also include every extention cord, window blind cord, belt, wire, rope, necktie, speaker cords, in the anti-weapon ban. Home appliances like sweepers must have their power source cords removed before using the appliances. All forms of clothing and house ware items that can be made linear and flexible, towels, bed sheets, pillow cases, etc must be destroyed to to comply with the anti-weapon ban.
Chain saws, will be allowed if the operator makes the sounds himself and cuts without any flammable fuel of any sort. It is suggested that the operator move the chain saw back and forth like the pilgrims did.
Military and Police services are included into the anti-weapon ban because they are people too, and uniformed persons have been involved in criminal activities. They are now expected to enter combat and domestic situations without any and/or all of the items now banned from public ownership. No guns, no explosives, no protection.
Marine vehicles that have string to retract fish from waters, ropes to launch their sails and to drop anchors, large sinkers,************* has been included in the anti-weapon ban.
Restaurants, homes and businesses will now not be allowed to serve foods or other types of produce, any, and all open food containers that could have lethal potential added to them has been prohibited in the anti-weapon ban.
Musical instruments must have all of their strings removed, guitars, pianos, etc.
Sports items like hockey sticks, pole vaulting poles, **************************************
Darkness has been a contributing factor in many killing there fore this anti-weapon bans darkness. Any one found moving in or lurking in darkness gets a free ride downtown.
Confined spaces such as parking garages have contributed to this type of death, also the confines of ones own home has hidden such acts so from now on every home, office, warehouse, apartment complex will be constructed without walls or a minimum of see through walls.
It will be permissible for taverns to serve liquors, but not in bottles, cans, glasses, pitchers, mugs or any other form of containment that is suitable to be thrown or tossed. All serving containers must be heavier than any human can suspend and release into a projectile.
Records show that persons have actually strangled another person with their bare hands, therefore we must include hands that are strong enough to close the wind pipe of even the smallest human. All persons with sufficient strength in their arms and hands to commit injury to another person will have those hands removed immediately.
And last but not least,every anti-gunner that is not intelligent enough to distinguish a killer (one person who inflicts or causes death) from the weapon,(an instrument or device) is to be arrested IMMEDIATELY as an endangerment to society, banned from holding any public office, never allowed to represent a business for the damage they may induce on society. All anti-gunners will be charged the cost to provide one armed guard to every unarmed citizen 24/7, everyday of their life.
This is the first phase of the lifesaving plan constructed by and for anti-gun idiots. More to follow.